Beautiful Gifts

We have the absolute best friends, family, co-workers.  We have from the beginning felt so much love, and support.  We are so appreciative for all that you guys have given us, from prayers, well wishes, and asking how things are going.

We thank you for the beautiful flowers, momma relaxing items, dinners and prayers.  We feel so loved.  We have also received the most beautiful book from my parents entitled 'Mommy, Please Don't Cry' by Linda Deymaz.  I have to admit the night that we got it, Derrick and I sat down to look at it we couldn't get past the second page, the emotions were too raw.  The words spoke too true to our hearts.  I couldn't handle it.

After a few days, I was able to get the book back out and made my way through the pages that comforted my soul.  I would highly suggest this book for a family that experiences a miscarriage or loss of a child.  I believe my parents found it at a local religious store called Gloria Deo their link is here: Gloria Deo .  There is a lovely journal section in the back of the book to write down prayers, thoughts, dreams that you had for the baby, that later I can reflect on.

I also feel like one of the things that we were given at the hospital on the day of our D&C.  The hospital gives out a beautiful golden baby ring.  The ring is so tiny.  I put it on my necklace that holds a charm that Derrick gave me when we had Jackson.  Now I have my two babies together close to my heart.  This ring will always be a special reminder of our baby.

Our baby will be buried this coming October at Lincoln Memorial Cemetery in a special area called baby land.

Time off

Well the last 4 months have been a crazy whirlwind of a time.  We have had about as much as we can process and take for now.  Thankfully, we can move at our own pace.

We will be taking roughly six months off of fertility treatments and IVF.  We need time to recover emotionally and financially from the last 3 rounds of FET.  We hope to in this time center ourselves again and find the positivity to go forward.  I hope to find my complete strength and faith in God during this time.  I struggle with my faith during these hard times. More on that later...

In the mean time, we will discuss with Dr. Maud her suggestions with doing some testing on our remaining embryos.  We have 6 remaining embryos in Omaha and ideally would like 1-2 more children.  With transferring 2 embryos at a time that would mean 3 more transfers before needing a fresh IVF cycle again. 

http://blog.drmalpani.com/2014/08/pgs-preimplantation-genetic-screening.html

The genetic testing that we are looking into doing is call PGS (Pre-Implantation Genetic Screening), there is really wonderful information and a video that explains the amazing process that they go through to test our embryos.  This screening would let us know if our remaining embryos are genetically normal and would therefore yield a higher success rate for pregnancy and hopefully diminish our chances of miscarriage or no implantation. 

Preimplantation Genetic Screening Preimplanation Genetic Screening

Unfortunately, the embryo's do run risks by being thawed-frozen, then re-thawed when we use them for a transfer.  However, we will have to roll the dice somewhere... This whole process is such a risk and gamble, we just pray we are making the right choices.

Typically, this screening would be done on fresh embryos from a fresh IVF cycle, and not ones that have already been frozen, however our clinic didn't do this screening back when we did our fresh IVF cycle over 3 years ago.

My HCG lab came back today as 20. So it has gone down quite a bit since our D&C which is good.  For now we will continue to decide what we will want to do with screening for our embryos and possibly do that over the next 2-3 months.  Hopefully good news from them. 

Cost for PGS screening for our 6 embryo's: $1,900

D&C

After finding out that our baby was no longer with us we knew there were two options for how to proceed.  We could either wait and pass the baby at home on our own.  Or, we could have a surgical procedure called a D&C (Dilation and Curettage).  We talked with both of our physicians (Dr. Oakes, and Dr. Friesen) and spoke about the pro's and con's for each with our specific situation.  We decided that a D&C would be the best option for us.  This whole topic is a bit rough and I really don't want to offend anyone when I talk about this.  I know that some of you might be very against this procedure and would rather pass the baby naturally, and that is 100% okay, which ever you decide just as I have said before make sure you make an informed choice.

Mayo Clinic- D&C

I called and made an appointment for surgery with Dr. Friesen for Friday January 6th.  We decided to do the surgery in Lincoln as it is much cheaper with insurance.

Friday morning we got up bright and early at 4:15AM and went to the hospital and got checked in around 5:00AM.  The nurse went through some questions on my medical history, medication history, and did her absolute best to be sympathetic to the reason we were there.  The nurse came in to start my IV, and lab came in to draw 3 tubes of blood, thank goodness I have great veins.

Both the anesthesiologist and Dr. Friesen stopped in to talk and go over some questions and hear our history.  Then around 6:45AM they wheeled me back to the OR.  I hated this part because I had to take out my contacts and I am blind as a bat, and couldn't make out a single persons face.  Once we got into the OR my nurse introduced me to the other surgical nurses and personnel in the room.  I slid over to the OR bed and laid back as they hooked me up to monitors, and put some "feel good" medication through my IV.  At that time the anesthesiologist put a mask over my face and out I went.

I woke up maybe 30-40 minutes later to the PACU nurse rubbing my shoulder saying "how are you feeling Stephanie".  I thankfully didn't have any nausea and no pain (Thanks to some zofran and toradol through my IV).  After waking up a tiny bit more in the PACU they wheeled me back into my outpatient surgery room where Derrick was waiting.  I continued to drift in and out of sleep while the nurse came in to monitor my blood pressure and any bleeding I was having along with any pain.

After about 90 minutes I felt a little more awake.  I still wasn't having any pain, or nausea and minimal bleeding.  Once I felt a little better I was asked to get up to try to use the bathroom, once I could urinate I was able to get dressed and ready to head home.  The nurse again came in to go over dismissal instructions, medications, follow up appointments, and what to expect.

Overall the staff did a wonderful job of allowing us space to breathe and process together, but yet were available to answer questions and let us know that we were being cared for.  We went home and spent the rest of the day resting, sleeping, and watching movies.

Emotionally during my time at the hospital I tried my hardest to keep it together, to not show the hurt and scared side of my heart.  It wasn't until close before we went back for surgery that I broke down.  Derrick and I yet again found ourselves tangled together holding each other, crying, praying, and sharing one of the worst two days of our lives.

The end of our rollercoaster

This whole third round of our FET has been one of the most extreme roller coasters I have ever been on.  We would have extreme great news followed by devastating news.  I felt constantly worn down and at the end of what I could take but then somehow I would muster up excitement and hope for our next blood draw/ultrasound/medication. 

I sit here now feeling lost.  Feeling like I don't know which way is up, like I am suffocating from all of the hopes and dreams that are now gone.  Although this little baby was only with us for a few weeks it was our baby, it was loved.  There are many questions I have, many questions that will go unanswered until someday when I too go to heaven.  I will never know if our baby was a boy or a girl, I will never know why this little one was taken from us, I wont know what this little one would have done in life, what sports it would have played, what our life would have been like as a family of four with this little one completing us. 

There are so many other women that go through this terrible thing of losing a baby, no matter at what stage of the baby's life the thing that connects us all is the grief.  The hopes and the dreams we had for our children that were taken away.  I don't want to keep my grief and my baby quiet and from the world, because even though baby was only with us for a short while it was my baby... My baby mattered.  I had always thought of blogging or journal about our infertility journey not so much to share with the world but as a way for me to process everything, and to have a long standing journal that I can look back on someday when I am a infertility survivor. 

I find myself thinking of how my life is now changed and altered, I cry over the things that I shouldn't be allowed to do.  I cry when I drink a beer now, or have a cup of coffee, I cry when I think of traveling to a friends wedding minus my growing bump that I was excited for.  I cry when I don't get to take my estrogen and progesterone... I cry over not getting a shot in my butt every night. I cry when I see the beautiful picture on my fridge of my 5 day embryo, I cry when I see the I'm a Big Brother book that we gave to Jackson.  I know that as the days go on these things wont make me feel as sad, I wont have the guilt when I drink my cup of coffee or have a glass of wine, but for now I feel sad. 

I find myself staring off frequently, just lost within my own mind thinking of what the last 8 weeks have brought us.  I loved this baby, I planned for this baby, I prayed for this baby and now my baby is in a different place not with me but with Jesus.  I am thankful that my baby is in such a beautiful place where there is no pain, there is no darkness and that love and light are all around him/her, but I am mad that I don't get to have my baby with me.  Someday I will rock my baby, and hold and kiss it until then I will have to remember what I can about our short time together.

After we found out that we had lost the baby I knew that our best option for myself was to have  D&C, but I found myself wanting to push it off.  I felt torn, part of me was sickened by the thought of having my dead baby inside of my womb, but then a large part of me felt protective.  I didn't want surgery to come and separate us.  I held my tummy, talking to it, praying for it that knew our love, and that I would forever be its mommy.  I now feel hallow, I feel like my body betrayed me.  I feel broken. My mind, body and spirit are in shambles and I need time.

The longest wait...

We went in on December 22nd for our first ultrasound we were 5 weeks 6 days and would get to see our baby for the first time!  My hcg was 3562 at this point and baby measured a small .16cm. The baby's heart was within 48 hours of developing and so we scheduled an ultrasound for the following week to see the baby's beautiful heart beat.

5 Weeks 6 Days

On December 29th we went in for our 6 week 6 day ultrasound and saw the most beautiful amazing sight, our baby's heart beat.  My labs were estrogen 406, progesterone 26, hcg 7407. The baby measured only .48cm.  We initially left the appointment feeling happy and again on cloud 9 that we saw the heart beat, baby was beautiful and growing.  An hour later I got a call from Dr. Maud herself (Usually it is the nurse we speak with). Her first words to me were "I don't like how this baby is looking", she went on to tell us things didn't look normal.  The baby should be much bigger than it was, and the hcg should be much higher than it was.  Although we saw a heart beat she didn't have a good feeling that the pregnancy would progress normally.  Her inclinations was that it was either a chromosomal issue again, or it was a insufficient placenta.  We were told there wasn't much we could do at the moment besides wait and see what the next week brought.

6 Weeks 6 Days

The week between these two ultrasounds was so crazy terribly hard.  One of the longest weeks of my life.  I tried my hardest to stay positive, but it was so hard to when I had the doctor who had gone over some pretty terrifying things, and didn't give us much false hope. I prayed harder than I had ever prayed before.  I knew in my heart that our chances weren't great for getting positive news, but was trying to hold out for the chance that there would be a miracle, that our baby had a big growth spurt, or that the measurements were wrong the previous week.

One week later on January 5th we went back up for our ultrasound at 7 weeks 6 days.  And I had tried to prepare myself for what we might see/hear but nothing could fully prepare myself.  As I laid there on the ultrasound table, Dr. Oakes one of the other RE (reproductive endocrinologists) came in to do our ultrasound,  we eagerly watched the screen and saw our little baby, I searched the screen for the flicker of the baby's heart beat but there was nothing moving. No flicker. No heartbeat. Our baby had died.

Dr. Oakes said "I am so sorry but your baby didn't make it, there is no heartbeat". And the tears started flowing.  How could this be us? How could this be happening? Why can't things work for us? Why did my baby have to die? I felt like we had been through so much over the past few months with such highs and now we were at our lowest of lows.  After catching my breath we sat there for 15 minutes talking and asking the doctor questions.

After the doctor left the room, we sat there stunned, holding each other, crying, wishing this was just a nightmare.  We had a lot to think about and had to go home to process what our next step would be for the baby that was still inside of me.  I held my tummy, wanting to give all the love I could to this little part of us that just died.

FET# 3

This one has to be our lucky time right? Lucky number 3?! I sure hoped so.  After our chemical pregnancy we stopped our medications immediately and waited for my cycle to start.  Unfortunately it took a while longer because my bleeding didn't really start until my hcg returned back down <5.  On November 14th we rechecked my hcg and it was 3, so we got the green light to start medications for a third time.

November 14-16: Estrogen pills 4mg
November 17-19: Estrogen pills 6mg
November 20-January 5: Estrogen pills 8mg
November 23: Ultrasound 9.8mm thickness
November 26-January 5: Progesterone 1mL IM

The morning of November 30th we got our typical pre-FET call and our embryo's looked good and survived the thaw.  That's right I said EMBRYO's! As in more than one!  We decided this third transfer to thaw and transfer two, knowing that it could increase our chances of one implanting.  The prior two transfers we had only transferred one knowing that Jackson's round he stuck and was the only embryo, and so we went with that mentality.

FET#3 2 of our 5 day Blastocysts

Once we got to Omaha everything went just the same as the other two rounds, we felt relaxed and somehow mustered up hope for these two little embryos that they would implant and become our little babies.  After the transfer we came home and took it easy for the rest of the day, Derrick went back to work that afternoon because they had a lot of big projects that were all coming due around the same time.

During our two week wait I really felt about the same as the other two transfers.  So I yet again tried to not read into any symptoms that I was having.  I tried my hardest to remain positive and pray for these little embryos.  We thankfully had a lot of our friends, family and co-workers praying for us which I really think helped us, and comforted us to know that we had all of the extra prayers.

On December 8th, Jackson and I went to the lab and had my blood work done. I brought our folded piece of paper home for Derrick and I to open together.  We opened it over lunch and it was 39... I felt so depressed and worried, it seemed low and I was so sure that it was going to be another Chemical Pregnancy just like the previous cycle.  But after speaking with the nurse she assured me that it is a good number to start at with a frozen cycle and that we do beta testing early at only 8 days after a 5 day transfer (8dp5dt).  The frozen embryos often are lower hcg to begin with and it is all about how the number doubles.  So we waited...

Saturday December 10th we did our second beta and it was 85!! Oh my goodness that number more than doubled! We were so over the moon excited and shocked.  We were official pregnant and everything looked perfect.

FET #2

Well here we go again, we decided to not take time off in between and soon after stopping my estrogen/progesterone from the previous failed FET I started my cycle.  We jumped right back in and started a very similar protocol like we did with the first transfer.

October 10-12: Estrogen 4mg pills
October 13-15: Estrogen 6mg pills
October 16- Nov 9: Estrogen 8mg pills
October 21: Ultrasound lining looks good
October 21-Nov 9: Progesterone 1mL IM

Ultrasound of my uterus thickness 9.22mm

October 25th we got the call in the morning that our one embryo had thawed well.  Up to Omaha we went for our second FET, and everything went as well as it could.  We were excited thinking that this second time we would be safe.  I took things extra slow and easy the few days following.  We had Jackson go to preschool a few extra days so that I could keep my feet up and keep from lifting and chasing him around.  I felt relatively the same as the last cycle with the same symptoms, however this time I tried to not read into it at all knowing it most likely was just the progesterone side effects.

FET #2- 5 day blastocyst

Our first beta hcg test was on November 2nd, I had my labs drawn at Bryan and brought them home for Derrick and I to open over his lunch.  I had told Derrick anything over 5 meant we were pregnant but obviously the higher the better.  Derrick opened the paper and said to me "I hope you have a list of baby names going".  We were so excited but then I saw that the hcg was 48.  This freaked me out knowing that our son Jackson was 78 at this point and that 48 seemed low.  After hearing from Dr. Maud's office they confirmed we were pregnant and that it is all about how the number doubles in 48 hours.  We would have a repeat hcg draw in two days and then we would know how the baby was looking.

I worked Friday the 4th of November, when I went down for the blood draw at Bryan,  I folded it in half and took it to our Women and Children's 1st floor where I found a quiet room to sit in and call Derrick so that I could tell him it as I opened it.  The number was 80.  So it didn't double but it went up.  I immediately wanted to talk to the Doctor but I wanted to not seem to eager so I waited for them to call me.  Later that afternoon they called and we discussed that it could be a slow growing baby and that it just needs some time to take off.  They suggested rechecking our hcg in 5 days on November 9th so we waited the long 5 days, hoping and praying that those numbers would be big and beautiful at the recheck.

Finally the 9th came around, and sadly I was at work again (not the ideal place to be when finding out such crazy emotional provoking information). I went down and had my blood drawn but decided instead of getting the results from the lab that I would wait and have the office call me so that I would keep from driving myself crazy with information I couldn't interpret.  That afternoon Dr. Maud called me and told me sadly the hcg had gone down to 70.  We had lost the baby very early.  It is called a chemical pregnancy or a early term miscarriage.  To learn more about chemical pregnancy's look here: Chemical Pregnancy

We were devastated.  We were so happy to be pregnant just to have the news drawn out, feeling like we were sitting on a ledge not knowing which way we would go.  During that period of time we hoped and prayed and dare I even admit I tried to bargain in my prayers for this little baby, if only God would let us have this little baby.  But for some reason this little baby didn't get to stay with us.  We talked yet again with Dr. Maud and she again thought that the baby had a chromosomal abnormality. We discussed taking a break but in the end all Derrick and I wanted was a baby, we didn't want to wait we wanted one now.  We asked if my body physically could take back to back to back transfers and have just as good of chance, and Dr. Maud said that we would be fine to do whatever we mentally felt okay to do, so we decided to go for it...

FET#2 Cost: Ultrasound $78, Labs $40, FET: $4190, Medication $30

FET #1

For frozen embryo transfers (FET) a baseline ultrasound is not necessary, so once my cycle starts I am able to jump right into estrogen pills to help grow my lining.  So when I started my period on September 14, 2016 we called the office to hear what the plan was for our medications.  Our medication/ultrasound schedule is as follows...

Sept 15-17: Estrogen 4mg pill
Sept 18-20: Estrogen 6mg pill
Sept 21-Oct 8: Estrogen 8 mg pill
Sept 26: Ultrasound to check lining, start progersterone shots 1mL nightly
Sept 26-Oct 8: Progesterone 1mL IM

Progesterone nightly shot

Ultrasound for lining check 

On Friday Sept 30th we were to arrive at 10AM to have my labs drawn and to go back into the surgery patient rooms.  When we pulled into the parking lot I was instructed to take one Valium tab, Valium helps to relax my body along with my uterus which will keep it from becoming irritable from manipulation.

Earlier that morning around 5AM the embryologist along with the help of Dr. Maud pick out one of our best looking embryos to thaw.  They carefully handle and thaw it over a few hours.  We get a call around 8AM with an update saying that our embryo has thawed well and that we are on track for the transfer.

FET#1 5 day blastocyst

Once we get settled and changed into our scrubs/gown we are wheeled back into the OR where they view our beautiful embryo on the TV and pull it up into a catheter and then while I have a very full bladder (this helps to push my uterus into the perfect spot) they insert the catheter and with ultrasound view see the catheter enter my uterus and deposit the embryo.  Afterwards we go back to the surgery patient room and wait flat for one hour.  I laid flat the whole drive back to Lincoln in the back of Derrick's truck, and then stayed on the couch all afternoon/evening.  We had Burger King, super yummy and the same food that I had after my transfer with Jackson.

We then had to wait that dreaded period of time, before we could test.  Throughout my wait I had all of the pregnancy symptoms of vivid dreams, cramping, sore breasts, increase sense of smell.... sadly all of these symptoms can also be a symptoms of the progesterone shots.  MEAN MEAN MEAN.

Our beta hcg test was due to happen the morning of October 8th at Bryan Hospital, however I was also scheduled to work this day.  I didn't want to work and find out either good or bad news that day.  If it was good I wanted to celebrate, if it was bad I didn't want to be surrounded by happy families that just had their own newborns.  So I decided to test early...

I tested Friday October 7th, I laid in bed until I heard the garage door shut and I jumped out of bed once I knew Derrick had gone to work.  I pee'd on the stick and waited to see the beautiful two pink lines... The only thing is the second line never appeared.  I broke down.  Laid in a ball on the floor of our master bathroom in a puddle of tears.  I was in shock, we were so sure that this baby was going to take, but for some reason baby didn't stick.  I called Derrick and gave him the news and updated my parents.

I ended up taking the next day off of work to take my blood hcg test that the office wanted me to take, to verify.  Yet again negative.. HCG <1.

We spoke with the nurse and discussed why the embryo possibly didn't implant, Dr. Maud's opinion was that it was a chromosomal abnormality, that this was a possibility out of all of our embryos that a few could be chromosomal abnormal.  Knowing this, we felt a sense of peace knowing that God wouldn't give us something we couldn't handle, and that maybe this negative although it seemed devastating maybe it was our answered prayer in that if something was seriously wrong with the embryo that it was mean to be with God and not us.  So picked ourselves back up and prepared to move on.

FET costs: Ultrasound $78, FET $4190, Labs $30, Medication $34 (These costs were out of pocket after insurance deductible was met, Insurance doesn't cover the actual FET procedure)

Here we go again... on to baby 2!

After we had Jackson we knew we wanted more children but we weren't sure on a timeline. Throughout my breastfeeding Jackson I didn't get my cycle back until after a year of nursing.  Even when I got it back it wasn't very regular which I attributed to both hormone fluctuation with nursing and my PCOS.  We added a new medication called Metformin 750mg daily on in December 2015 after my Hemoglobin A1C (which looks at your average blood sugar over 3 months) continued to go up from the years prior in to the lower end of pre-diabetes range. More on Hemoglobin A1C here: Mayo Clinic- A1C

Once we started the Metformin my cycles became slightly more normal in that they would range from 35-50 days, still quite long but better than every 8 months.  So we did the for fun baby making, and sadly no pregnancy.  So we decided to start everything back up again with our frozen embryos in Omaha.  This time we kept this all a secret, the only people that knew that we were going to do another round were my parents and Derricks. We wanted to surprise everyone with a baby, little did we know the long process that we would go through again.

My little merman, enjoying the ocean

Family vacation in Hawaii 2016

Paddle boarding in Hawaii

We enjoyed the start of our Summer by going to Hawaii for a family vacation celebrating my parents 35th Wedding Anniversary.  We made a lot of amazing new memories as a family.  It was nice to get to spend time relaxing and taking it easy, knowing that we had busy months a head with getting ready for a frozen transfer. 

July 12, 2016 we went back to Dr. Maud in Omaha for another SHG to check my uterus and fallopian tubes for any changes.  We wanted to make sure it was a favorable environment for the embryo.  We also did pre-screening labs to make sure I was nice and healthy for everything we were about to start. 

Derrick and I are kinda freaks about planning, or shall I say I am for both of us.  I knew that if we tried to do a transfer in August that would give us a May baby and May is busy enough for us between Derricks birthday, Jackson's birthday, my mother in laws birthday, and my birthday.  So we opted to sit out one month and do a round of birth control to calm any cysts that might be there and start in September for a June baby. 

We now just had to wait for my birth control to be done for us to start our process of growing my uterine lining.  Since we already had the embryo's we just had to create a nice plush lining for them to implant and then transfer them similar to the fresh IVF transfer we had done with Jackson.  

More on Frozen Embryo Transfers (FET) here : Shady Grove - FET

At this point we were so overly hopeful, we were so confident that this first transfer would take right away and we would go on our happy little way and have a June baby.  Afterall, Jackson had an uphill battle being transferred when my estrogen levels were so high that it made implantation difficult and less likely.  We assumed we had it in the bag.  They say that the success rates for a frozen transfer actually are much higher for a person with PCOS, because my body doesn't have the stress of growing all of the mature follicles. During the weeks leading up I scaled back on alcohol, exercise and caffeine intake. 

Green Poop and Allergies

Jackson was 4 months old when my mom and I were out shopping we stopped to change a quick diaper but it just wasn't normal.  There was blood.  Jackson had blood in his stool and it freaked me out.  Once we got home I called his pediatrician and they had me keep an eye on it for a day or two, to see if it got any better. Sadly it didn't and his stools were quite green and slimy moucousy (gross I know).  We then started testing his stool at the pediatrician office for blood and talked with the doctor and we talked about the possibility of it being MSPI, or Milk Soy Protein Intolerance.  More on MSPI here: Complete Children's Health- MSPI

Typically this would be discovered or have more symptoms prior to him being four months but that is when ours presented.  Jackson wasn't typical fussy, gassy with the intolerance but would have terrible stools and would have eczema on his face from it,  he would also sound congested (which we found was irritation).  We slowly tried to adjust my diet because I was breastfeeding Jackson.  I was willing to adjust my diet with whatever I had to do, but we started easy.  We started eliminating obvious dairy from my diet.  So ice cream, cheese, cream cheese, yogurt, milk, etc was off the plate.  However, we would allow it to remain in if it was baked in.  We didn't have to read labels and just had to wait for it to clear my milk and his system.  Great MSPI Menus here: MSPI Mama

Amazingly it takes roughly 4 weeks for the dairy to clear both his system and my milk. So we waited and tested his stools after we thought it had been long enough.  At 4 weeks there was still a minimal amount in his stools and his stools were still slightly green but looked much improved.  The pediatrician suggested waiting two more weeks to see if it cleared completely or if we needed to eliminate more out of my diet.  Thankfully two weeks later he was clear.

We continued this diet of obvious dairy elimination for the first year of breastfeeding, with doing a trial at 9 months old of dairy in my diet to see how he would respond and sadly back to the bad diapers.  At one year old with instruction from our doctor we trialed diary directly to Jackson. He got hives around his mouth and anywhere that the milk touched.  At this point we went to a local Allergy doctor to have a work up of dairy and eggs.  We had also found that Jackson would get hives when he had scrambled eggs.

At the appointment we found that Jackson was allergic to both dairy and eggs.  We were given an Epi-Pen for him and told to avoid these things in his diet and to continue my obvious dairy elimination diet as long as we were breastfeeding.  We continued breastfeeding until he was two years old.  At which point we went back to the Allergist and tested his dairy allergy and found that he had grown out of the dairy allergy.  He still is mildly allergic to eggs and so we continue to stay away from eggs in his diet.

We feel blessed in all of this that it wasn't worse, we are blessed that he never had a serious reaction.  Allergies are nothing to mess with and I would constantly worry he would get the wrong child's food at daycare, or grab someones plate/drink and have a serious reaction.

We go back to the allergist later this week to test for egg allergy again and I hope that he continues to grow out of the allergies.

Breastfeeding is Amazing

Working in the unit that I do at the hospital, we learn so much about breast milk and the power that it has.  I knew from the beginning that I wanted to breastfeed, and I wanted to make it work for us.  I started hand expressing colostrum at 37-38 weeks and saving it in the freezer until we went in to deliver.  With Jackson being a big baby we ended up needing to supplement, we were able to use my colostrum that I had brought in for that purpose, so that we could avoid formula.  Now at the hospital there is the option to supplement with donor breast milk which is a wonderful thing that they offer, but at the time we delivered this wasn't an option yet.  I wanted to avoid formula supplementation, because even the smallest amount changes the inside of the baby's tummy. (I understand that there are a few specific reasons of why formula would need to be given in the hospital, for prematurity for extra calorie supplementation, however this didn't apply to us.)

To read more on the benefits on Antenatal Expression of Colostrum look here: La Leche UK

To see more information on risks of supplementation of formula look here : Just One Bottle

Even with my knowledge of how to latch a baby and breastfeeding, I was still having difficulty getting Jackson to latch without having some discomfort.  It wasn't terrible but I knew that it was a pain more than just my nipples getting use to having a baby suckling for hours, but a positional thing that we needed to overcome in order to be successful in the long run.  I visited with my fellow Lactation Nurses at Bryan which were very helpful, and I visited a local breastfeeding support office in Lincoln called Milkworks.

I would highly suggest checking out Milkworks or your local breastfeeding support group/ office in your area.  I can't say enough good things about all that they did for us.  Milkworks has scales available for the public to stop in and weight your baby.  I would occasionally go in and weigh Jackson before a feeding, sit down and nurse him there and then re weigh him to see how much he was successfully transferring at breast.  This also helped later on when we started giving bottles so that I knew approximately how much breast milk he would take from me at a feeding.

The lactation consultant worked with me during our appointments to do a weight, and then help me to get Jackson situated, latch him on, and continue with an entire feeding and re weigh.  All while the lactation consultant stayed right at my side, to help to trouble shoot, and answer any questions that popped into my head.  I owe a part of our huge breastfeeding success to Milkworks!

You can visit Milkworks website here to look at their wonderful information or call/stop in to visit with their breastfeeding educators or schedule an appointment.  Plus they have an adorable baby shop attached with the cutest items for baby and mom.  Milkworks

We continued to breastfeed until Jackson's 2nd birthday.  It was such a wonderful experience and I know that we both benefited from it.  

Welcome Jackson Lee

My due date was May 6th, 2014, that afternoon my contractions started slowly building up.  By mid evening I was in labor and having to breathe through contractions.  We stayed at home for a few hours and tried methods like birthing ball, warm shower, music, swaying, breathing, but around midnight we made the treck to the hospital.  The odd ball, money pincher I am we stayed in the truck for about 15 minutes having contractions so that we could wait to check in after midnight.  We checked in and they watched me for a while to see if I continued to progress.  I was 3cm when we checked in at 12AM, over the next few hours we would breathe through contractions and sway back and forth.

Around 3 AM I was able to get my epidural, and then was able to relax and was dilated to 5cm at that point.  We were able to get a little bit of rest as they continued to let my body contract and labor on its own.  Around 6 AM my contractions were slowing down a bit so they added in a little Pitocin to keep the contractions going.  At 7 AM Dr. Friesen came in to break my water and then I was 7cm.  Again around 9 AM they checked me and I was 8cm, at 10 AM I was 9 cm and at 11:30 AM I was 10 cm.  Our nurse started to prepare us for pushing and called the doctor.

Dr. Friesen showed up around 12PM and we started pushing, we pushed for about 20 minutes and Jackson was moving down and was getting closer to deliver, however his heart rate started to dip with my contractions and he was starting to slow down with his decent.  Dr. Friesen made the decision to use forceps to assist with delivery.  I completely trusted his opinion and his decisions to use forceps.  I think it is very important to go to an OB that you trust with your life and the life of your child whole heartedly, and you also trust their partners, since there is a chance your OB wont be available. More on Forcep delivery here: Mayo Clinic- Forceps

Thankfully just a few minutes later Jackson was delivered with forceps with one push.  He had meconium (his stool) in his amniotic fluid so the NICU and respiratory therapists were at the delivery in case he needed more support.  He came out crying, and big and beautiful.  Our Jackson was a big boy at 9 pounds 3 oz, 21 inches long born at 12:41PM on May 7th, 2014.

More on Meconium Aspiration Syndrome and risks of Meconium in amniotic fluid here: Medline Plus

After delivery we delivered the placenta at which time Dr. Friesen found a few clots and a bit more bleeding.  With the blood loss along with the delivery I wasn't feeling very good, I would get light headed and feel like I was going to pass out.  We stayed on L&D for a few hours prior to being transferred up to my post partum room where my co workers were anxiously awaiting.

After getting to post partum our stay went very quickly.  My hemoglobin dropped after delivery due to the blood loss and clots and I felt dizzy when standing so we transfused two units of blood and I felt much better afterwards.  Jackson was wonderful at breastfeeding from the beginning, staying awake for feeds.

I had started hand expressing and saving my colostrum around 37-38 weeks pregnant, I was able to bring 12cc of colostrum into the hospital for us to supplement to Jackson if he had low blood sugars due to his large size.

Two days later we went home and followed up with the pediatrician, although Jackson was nursing good, my milk had not come in yet and his weight was dropping close to 10%.  There was talk of supplementing with formula but I chose to feed more frequently and add pumping to supplement with my own colostrum/breast milk.  Thankfully a day later my milk came in and I had a wonderful supply.

Our delivery was amazing, I loved going in to labor on my own, and there was no greater feeling than meeting my little baby boy that we had worked so hard for.

Grow baby, Grow

The following weeks we went up a few times for ultrasounds to see growth, see the heart beat and see our beautiful baby growing and loving its new home.  The wonderful thing about having IVF is the frequent monitoring after conception.  We went every two weeks for ultrasounds and blood work. At 10 weeks after our ultrasound looked good we were released back to Dr. Friesen in Lincoln.

6 Weeks .26cm crl

8 Weeks 1.66cm crl

10 Weeks 3.21cm crl

Each ultrasound we were looking at the baby to see growth, one of the main signs of good growth is measuring the crown to rump length of the baby.  More on crown to rump length here: Ultrasoundpaedia
At 6 week ultrasound on September 10, 2013 we were able to see the heartbeat, it was still to early to hear anything as the little heart is so tiny but we could see the flicker of the light on the screen.

Our 8 week ultrasound we were able to hear the heartbeat on September 25, 2013.  We were doing well and they allowed us to taper off of our progesterone shots around 10 weeks.

Once we were released back to Dr. Friesen we had a 12 week ultrasound on October 23, 2013.  Our normal OB pregnancy doctors appointment continued and we went on to have a very normal rest of our pregnancy.  We were blessed to have a great smooth pregnancy.

12 Weeks

The Greatest

The two week wait is a really really terrible thing.  It's the longest most excruciating days because you are waiting for life altering news.  The waiting consists of over analyzing every single feeling, things you aren't feeling, every emotion, every hope, every dream that you have for the little baby.  During my two week wait I had cramping, I had sore breasts, I had increase in my sense of smell. I held out and was so strong during the two week wait and refused to pee on a stick because that darn single pink line and I didn't get a long. I didn't want to see that horrible horrible thing, so I boycotted the stick.  The morning of August 27 I went into Bryan Lab to have my hcg drawn, I went bright and early hoping to get results back asap, but the call didn't come.  I waited over lunch still no call, I waited mid afternoon still no call.  Eventually I went back to the Bryan Lab and had them print out my lab value.  I knew I needed a higher number but what exact number I didn't know.

I wanted to save the paper until I was home but for some reason walking down the hall of the Women and Children's tower I opened that white piece of paper.  My eyes searched the letters and numbers for the hcg lab value I needed.  That's when I saw it.... 78! I WAS PREGNANT!! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, is this really happening.  I barely remember my drive home (probably not safe), and then sat and waited at home for Derrick to get home.  I had about two hours to spare so I decided to get dressed up so we could go out to celebrate.

Many months prior (back when I thought this whole getting pregnant thing would be a breeze, haha), I had the same caricature artist who drew our engagement proposal make a baby sketch for me to surprise Derrick with.

Derrick came home and came in the door to the caricature waiting on the counter, with me standing close by with our lab numbers.  Those moments, that look, those tears, made it all worth it.  The sense of relief was incredible.  Derrick and I were parents.  We were going to have a baby.  We spend the rest of the night going around to tell our parents, and close family. We then went to celebrate at Old Chicago for pizza and nachos.

Two days later we had our second beta hcg test and the number came back at 209. It was perfect.  HCG numbers in the beginning of pregnancy has to be greater than 5 to be pregnant but then that number should double every 48 hours.  Ours had done that and more. We were on cloud nine and so in love with the little numbers that were growing quickly. More on hcg and doubling times here: American Pregnancy Association- HCG

Court Jones out of California is who has done our caricatures, he is a very well known caricature artist and does amazing work.  You can check out his page here : Court Jones- Caricatures

IVF the road to Jackson

Once we decided to do IVF we were so geared up, so excited, so full of hope.  But scared. So scared it was so much money that we were investing into something that had no 100% success rate.  Prior to starting the whole stimulation process we did another round of birth control pills to return my ovaries and hormones to a good baseline.  August 2nd we had our baseline ultrasound, everything looked good and we had the green light to start stimulation's once my cycle started.

August 4-9: Injection 225iu Follistim
August 9: Ultrasound
August 10-11: Injection 225iu Follistim & Ganirelix injection (To prevent ovulation)
August 12: Ultrasound & Trigger Shot

August 14th, we arrived at Dr. Maud's for our egg retrieval.  They took us back into the surgery area to prep me for surgery including starting the IV, signing paper work and relaxing as much as we could prior to removing our big beautiful mature eggs. Dr. Maud was happy with how everything went and we were happy to start the process.  Over the next few days we went home to rest, and wait to hear how our embryos were growing.  Every two days we would get a call to hear how our embryos were growing and how many had made it vs. how many we had lost.  Due to my PCOS and our stimulation I was able to produce 34 mature follicles that we removed.  They inseminated many of them and we were lucky to have a good quantity to take into the IVF transfer and enough to freeze for future children in the years to come.

This little embryo became our little boy Jackson

During this entire process we prayed, we hoped, we loved.  We had friends, family, co workers praying for us, hoping for the best and hoping for good news.  We started progesterone injections instead of vaginal suppositories.  Every night Derrick would give me my progesterone shot in the lower back/hip area, he was such a trooper with learning these new skills and dare I say he might be better than even some nurses out there.

The weekend after we retrieved our eggs while we waited for them to grow we learned that Derricks Grandpa Jack was not doing well and was put on hospice at his farm.  We made the trip down to see Grandpa Jack and to say our love and good-byes.  I fondly remember that during the months leading up to Grandpa's health declining, we had seen him in the hospital and told him that we were trying to conceive, we told him that if we had a son we wanted to name him Jackson.  I remember Grandpa Jack saying "That's pretty good".  I think he was happy to hear of our plans.

Monday August 19th we were ready to go back in for our transfer, however we got a call from Dr. Maud that my estrogen level was sky high due to the stimulation's.  One of the risk of stimulating on such a grand magnitude is the risk of OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome), this is a very serious condition that can lead to hospitalization.  Dr. Maud had me watching for signs and symptoms along with watching my urine output. More on OHSS here: Mayo Clinic OHSS  Dr. Maud wanted us to postpone and reschedule our transfer, due to our high estrogen levels.  She said that the high levels could hinder the implantation.  Because of a gut feeling and pure excitement we decided to continue and head to Omaha to transfer one 5 day fresh blastocyst.

Once we were in Omaha they took us back into the surgery area where we both changed into our scrubs/gown and waited for them to wheel us back into the OR.  Once our nurse took us back into the OR I laid on the OR table with the bright lights shining on my nether regions.  The nurses, and doctors surrounded us and directed our attention to the large screen TV that was hanging on the East side of the OR room, below the TV was a sliding glass door that held the room where our little embryo was waiting.  The embryologist zoomed in with the microscope in on the dish holding a tiny round dot.  As she scanned the bottom of the dish it read my name and number.  Then zooming in more we finally laid eyes on the big TV of our tiny tiny little embryo, the one chosen to be our first IVF transfer.

Once they had the speculum in and ready and the ultrasound on my tummy Dr. Maud called for the embryo to be drawn up into a catheter, and then it is delicately brought into the OR room and Dr. Maud inserted the catheter past my cervix into the uterus, on the ultrasound screen we could see the tip of the catheter enter my uterus.  Then on the screen we saw a little white bubble of air that they put after the embryo to ensure it is deposited.  As that little white air dot started to float around in my uterus we knew that meant the little embryo was home... home in my uterus, now it was completely up to God.  They removed the ultrasound wand and wheeled us into the Surgery patient room while we waited and stayed flat for an hour prior to them letting us go home.

We brought Derricks truck to Omaha so that I could lay flat on the hour drive home to Lincoln.  I was also instructed to remain completely flat for the next 24 hours, the only time I could get up was to use the bathroom. Movie and nap day here we come!  I felt good afterwards, physically.  However emotionally, mentally I was terrified that we made the wrong choice to transfer when the doctor had suggested to hold off due to my high labs.  This uncertainty would follow us and linger over us during our two week wait.

Our Fresh IVF Cycle costs: Ultrasounds $133, Medications $1442, Labs $115, IVF $9,024 (The costs for our fresh IVF cycle were out of pocket after deductible was met)

I don't tell you how to make a baby....

As our trying to conceive went on longer and longer I became more and more annoyed with the little comments and suggestions people would make.  I would often grin and take the comments knowing that my friends and family weren't saying things to purposefully make me hurt but the comments would eat away at me.

Infertility isn't commonly talked about.  Infertility is a silent battle that many couples face alone, without support from others.  Whether if afraid of going against their religion, embarrassment, or if they are just private people, there are many more that suffer than one might think.  I am amazed after talking and being somewhat open about our fertility struggles that others came to me for support, advice or just to stand together and say "this sucks".  I wish that our culture was more accepting and more supportive for those suffering from infertility.

I know that those of you reading this blog of mine might feel awkward with these topics and speaking with those that are going through struggles.  Here is my list of my biggest pet peeves when it came to advice and comments we would get...

• Just relax and it will happen- This is so far from being true for 99% of couples who are having difficulty conceiving.  We tried the relaxed fun baby making for years and it didn't happen, lets move on.  I love what the Resolve website says... "Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility."

• It's just not your time- And you know when my time will be??

• You are lucky you can sleep in- Telling me that I am some in someway better off for not having children is so inconsiderate.  I understand our lives will greatly change when a baby comes along but these are welcomed changes. 

• God has a different plan for you- I struggled with my faith for periods of time while trying to conceive, but hearing that God supposedly gave them the in on what my life plan was didn't sit right with me. 

• Complaints about pregnancy- I get it.. pregnancy can be uncomfortable, aches, pains, growing bumps and growing ankles leave a momma about ready to wave the white flag and surrender.  However, to those who are unable to even get to the point in life that you are complaining about hurts.  I remember hearing friends, co-workers, patients complain about the various points of pregnancy and think to myself I would give anything to have your aches and pains of pregnancy.  I would pray for morning sickness, I would pray for swollen ankles, hearing your complaints are a constant reminder that you get to experience a part of life that I don't know if I will ever get to experience.  

• The know it all-  Unless you are going through IUI, or IVF don't pretend to know what I am going through exactly.  I understand everyone has their own story and some people have an easier time than others but I don't want to hear how 'rough' you had it by having good old fashion baby making on no particular schedule in the comfort of your own home, without medical intervention.

• My friend got pregnant so easy after having a baby after infertility- Sure this happens, some women's body's can get pregnant easier after having trouble with the first conception but this doesn't mean it will happen for me.  When I hear this it gives me no added hope.  There are so many factors that we don't know, our diagnosis could be completely different, our medication regimen could be completely different, there is no way to compare and give me false hope that this might be our case too.  I appreciate your friend and I am excited for them but it does nothing for me.  

I know that we heard many things that I have since let roll off, but please if you are ever in doubt and don't know what to say to a couple that is trying to conceive, keep it short, tell them that you are there to listen, that you care and that you want to be there for them.  The best thing that my friends, family and co-workers did for me was listen when I needed to talk about it, and ask for updates.  I found this article on the Resolve website and I passed it out to my close family members so that they could understand where we were coming from.  They have great information!!Resolve- Infertility Etiquette

IUI or IVF the debate

Dr. Maud called us to talk about our options after our second negative following our second IUI.  We had some choices to make and some new procedures to learn about.  At this point we could either continue down the road of injections with IUI's like we had done the previous two months.  Hoping that it was a matter of time before we would be successful, however we also knew that with PCOS we ran the risk of having multiple mature follicles each cycle which could put us into a tough spot.

Our other option was to look into IVF (Invitro Fertilization). Finally the thing that I had thought was so scary, so unnecessary for us, something that we would never have to do.  We sat down to learn about the procedure and made our list of pros/cons for why this might work for our family.

IVF procedure is more involved, more detailed than the IUI.  IVF starts similar to IUI, in that injections are used to grow multiple mature follicles, with frequent ultrasounds for monitoring.  Once these follicles are of mature size with plentiful amounts we would do a trigger shot and then come in for our retrieval day. Retrieval day consists of surgery for me, I would come into the office, they would take me back to the surgery patient rooms where I would get an IV, Anesthesiologist would come to visit me and prepare me for the procedure.  After waiting they take me back alone into surgery where I am put under by general anesthesia and then Dr. Maud goes through vaginally with a needle to aspirate and collect all of my mature follicles.  The mature follicles are then looked at and inseminated with ICSI which is a insemination assistance where they inject a single sperm into the egg if needed, if the sperm quality is good enough they will allow the sperm to inseminate on their own.  After this process they watch the fertilized eggs continue to grow they watch to see if cells divide, if they grow and mature.  There can be 3 or 5 day embryos at which point they can transfer 1-2 embryos to the mother (Fresh transfer) or they can be frozen for a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) to be used at a later date.

If a fresh transfer will be used the woman comes back in on day 5 and goes back in to the OR (thankfully the daddy can be present during this time since there is no anesthesia). The mother lays on the OR table and they prepare the embryo and insert it via a catheter past the cervix into the uterus, and allow it to implant by itself.

http://americanpregnancy.org/infertility/in-vitro-fertilization/

More information on IVF here : American Pregnancy Association- IVF

After learning about the IVF procedure it seemed a little less scary.  It seemed like we would have more control.  We decided the pro's for doing the IVF for our family included:

• Greater control over quantity of eggs that were inseminated to be back in
• We would be able to have hopefully extra embryos that could be frozen and used for future children
• Higher success rate

Although we knew that IVF was considerably more costly ($9,025 for the actual procedure, not including ultrasounds, labs, medications).  In the long run it would be a good investment. So we pulled the trigger and decided to jump into IVF.

IUI #2 in Omaha

Finally a few weeks later our round of birth control to regain our baseline was complete, the cysts had gone away and we were excited and ready to try another IUI.

June 12, 2013: Baseline ultrasound (Cycle day 1)
June 13-18: Injection 150iu Follistim
June 18: Ultrasound- Largest follicle 11mm
June 18-21: Injection 150iu Follistim
June 21: Ultrasound (8 Mature Follicles at 17mm) HOLY SMOKES!!
June 21: Trigger shot
June 23: IUI #2

http://www.montereybayivf.com/infertility-services/ivf-process/injections-of-follistim/

The large number of mature follicles we had was all because of my diagnosis of PCOS.  The normal woman with non PCOS would not respond with this many follicles.  This was good but it was also bad, we ran the risk of multiples, and a possibility of extreme multiples.  This scared us but we knew our chances were fairly small of all of them taking, or so we hoped.  We started the same progesterone vaginal suppositories as the last IUI cycle.

On July 7th I yet again woke up early, quietly I took the test then while waiting for the results, I brought the test into the room that we had always planned on being the nursery.  I sat there, I prayed and hoped even more, thinking we had 8 mature follicles one of them had to of been cracked into and made into a baby... When I looked down at the test the wicked eye game began.  I sat there and although in my heart of hearts I knew it was just one line, my eyes wanted to see two lines.  I swore to myself that I saw the faintest second line, that it was there.  There was hope for a little baby growing inside.  I had us get up and make it to the Omaha office by 7AM for the beta hcg (pregnancy hormone), that would be a blood test that is official.

I was hoping that my double vision was even just slightly correct.  I didn't want to stop my progesterone and medication until I was 100% positive there was no baby, knowing that if I stopped my medications I would lose a baby if we happened to be pregnant.  Sadly that afternoon I got a call from the office that I was NOT pregnant.  No baby.  Still barren.

Cost for IUI#2 in Omaha: Ultrasounds $221, Medications $918, Lab $43, IUI $300 (These costs are out of pocket after deductible)

IUI #1 in Omaha

April 16th, 2013 we had our "baseline" ultrasound,  this was always a ultrasound at the start of my cycle usually day 1 or 2.  This would tell us how my ovaries look prior to any stimulation.  The medication that we were started on to help grow my follicles was an injection called Follistim... Here is the following schedule we did...

April 17-21: Injections 75iu Follistim

April 22: Ultrasound

April 22-24: Injections 100iu Follistim

April 25: Ultrasound (cycle day 11)

April 25-27: Injection 150iu Follistim

April 28: Ultrasound (3 follicles measuring 15mm- wooohoo!!)

April 28: Injection 225iu Follistim & Bravelle 150 Injection

April 29: Trigger Shot

May 1: IUI #1

Towards the end of stimulation we wanted to make sure that the 3 follicles that were getting close to mature size pushed into the mature 18mm size, so we added one more medication called Bravelle.  On the 29th when we were ready to release the mature eggs from the follicles we did another injection called a "Trigger Shot" this does exactly what it sounds like it releases my mature eggs and they start their decent down the fallopian tubes.  Since there is a bit of a distance that the mature eggs have to go we release about 12 hours prior to our IUI.  We then arrive and perform the IUI procedure with the "washed" sperm and lay there after the procedure for 15 minutes to allow things to settle.

http://www.sandiegofertilityspecialist.com/fertility-services/iui-intrauterine-insemination/

After this point we head on our merry way and then we start the fun (but not so fun 2 week wait).  During this time we started vaginal suppositories of progesterone.  Progesterone is a hormone which helps to sustain pregnancy.  Progesterone is vital to a healthy long pregnancy and not all women can produce sufficient amounts of progesterone during pregnancy.  This is where hormone supplements come into play.  In many reproductive cases they add in progesterone just to assist and even prior to knowing if there is a production problem. 

On May 15th we took our pregnancy test.  I remember waking up before Derrick was up, I was so excited to test, so excited to deliver the good news.  I snuck into the guest bathroom and followed the instructions, while I sat there and waited the two long minutes, I hoped, I prayed.  Then just to see one line, one stupid stupid line.  Back to the drawing board....

A few days later I was feeling pretty uncomfortable, I was full and puffy.  Due to the stimulation's I had grown many follicles although with the trigger shot we released the mature follicles there were still other medium sized follicles that had continued to grow into large cysts.  I had another ultrasound on May 18, 2013 to find many cysts, the solution for this was to start a round of birth control pills that would help to return my hormones to baseline, along with my ovaries, as a sort of 'restart'.  Although I didn't want to sit out a cycle in between I knew due to the cysts that I would feel better getting those resolved before starting again. 

Costs for IUI#1 in Omaha: Ultrasounds $295, Medications $695, Labs $64, IUI $300 (these costs were our of pocket costs after deductible was met)

Gearing up for IUI in Omaha

On March 13, 2013 we went to Omaha for a SHG (Sonohysterogram).  During this procedure they place a small catheter past my cervix into my uterus and inject a small amount of saline.  During which time they are watching through ultrasound to see if my fallopian tubes are open and if there are any blockages that they could see along with a few malformations of the uterine lining.  Thankfully we had the all clear from the SHG that my tubes were open, my uterus was clear.

During this same time we did another sperm analysis on Derrick to see on their testing if anything had changed that might inhibit our fertility process.  At this point Dr. Maud was willing to try IUI with us for a few rounds, hopeful that injection stimulation would be what we needed to have a successful conception.

For those who are unaware of the IUI process here is the short over view of how IUI works.  During IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) the sperm which has previously been collect is "spun down" and the best sperm are drawn up into a small catheter.  Then while in stirrups the small catheter is placed past the cervix into the uterus and deposited.  Some women can do a natural cycle with out stimulation (medications) of their ovaries to produce mature follicles/eggs, however with some such as myself we would need the assistance to grow the mature follicles and then help to release the mature follicle when we were ready.

IUI is often a good starting point and less invasive.  Although still pricey it tends to be a cheaper option compared to IVF.  Our actual procedure for IUI was $300, with usually 3-4 ultrasounds during the 2 weeks leading up to the IUI date to monitor growing follicle size.  Each ultrasound ranged from $125-$200. Thankfully our insurance helps to cover portions of our fertility journey.  Our plan would help to cover 50% after deductible of ultrasounds/medications/lab work.  However, insurance would not cover any actual IUI/IVF procedure. We were thankful to have at least a little bit of help when it came to the medical bills that were starting to add up quickly.

We were excited, we were hopeful that this IUI with injection stimulation would be what we needed.